Wedding traditions are weird. You have to do them or evil spirits will come to your wedding without RSVPing. They will show up and ruin the whole day. But it does’t stop there, they will haunt your marriage. You will end up having to fight a spirit.
Well…maybe that won’t happen. But I’m not wrong about evil spirits. Most of these traditions were performed to protect the bride from evil spirits. And at the same time because of sexism. Ya know? How women used to be legally seen as inferior. Well, it happened to weddings. But don’t get me wrong, I love weddings! I have been wedding crazy, I can’t stop mentally-and Pinterest-planning my own wedding.
I have watched Say Yes to the Dress.
I follow Grace Loves Lace on social media.
I watch movies and shows about weddings and critique them as if planning my own wedding. And I’m not even engaged yet!
I’ve got the location.
I’ve picked out the bouquet flowers.
I’ve decided what the color scheme will be.
I’ve even picked out the dress.
Even though my wedding won’t happen for at least a few years, I have been planning for years. But it hasn’t stopped there, I’ve also been reading about where traditions began. But first, I must let you know that I am a modern woman and a feminist. From my perspective, when I started looking into these traditions, I was surprised. So, let’s get to it!
Archaic Wedding Traditions
That pesky little white wedding dress…
I always thought the meaning behind a white wedding dress was to symbolize the bride’s purity before marriage. However, after some research, I found that it was customary to have a colored wedding dress instead since it was hard to keep white clean. It wasn’t until 1840, when Queen Victoria of England wore white, that the white dress became popular. This became a symbol of wealth and importance, a way to show off.
Although this tradition was not rooted in the archaic need for a woman to remain pure before her wedding day, I feel as though it has. A lot people, including myself, don’t know where this tradition comes from. Then they think it becomes a symbol of virginity, an idea I don’t subscribe to.
I’m not your property…
These days, women can’t wait for their father to walk them down the aisle. Usually to symbolize the relationship the bride has with her father and his approval of the marriage. However, this originates from another time when women were considered property. The fathers were arranged the marriage them found acceptable and the walk down the aisle symbolized the passing of property from one man to another. This is rooted in something I cannot fathom, I am not owned by my father and refuse to be owned by my husband.
To veil or not to veil…
Again, during a time where arranged marriages and women being property was common– the veil was more than an accessory. Since most couples did not meet until the day of their wedding, the veil was typically used to keep the bride’s identity a secret. This was to make sure the husband could not back out of the marriage at the last minute. Yet, in more recent times the veil has been used for a few different reasons; to symbolize virtue–something I consider to be mine and my fiance’s business only– or as a cute accessory. Despite the reasoning, it’s something I don’t see myself partaking in.
Traditions I Find a Tad Dumb
Should I feed you the cake? Or should I smash it?…
Now, I know this is something that’s supposed to be silly and fun, but it’s something I also find a little too cutesy for me. I ultimately don’t want cake on my face. AT. ALL. But more importantly, I have always found it weird to watch others feed each other and don’t want to put my guests through that.
Should I stay or should I go?…
The bride and groom have to say goodbye the night before and can’t see each other until she’s walking down the aisle. Yet, I am not a superstitious person. I don’t find myself subscribing to these traditions that require me to hide away from my husband-to-be. We have plans to move in before we get engaged, so where are we supposed to go the night before? I want to wake up to his face the next morning and enjoy those moments together. Except once I put on the wedding dress, he will have to wait to see me as I walk down the aisle.
All. Things. Garter. Related…
Well, this is one tradition I am completely against. Not because it’s rooted in something sexist, but because it is just plain weird and awkward! I do not need my new husband of a few hours reaching up my dress to pull a piece of clothing off me in front of all my friends and family. It gives me chills just thinking of the looks on my mom and dad’s faces as this happens. Awkward.
Traditions I Plan on Participating in
I probably should have written this first, this is just my opinion and how I plan to approach my wedding. If you are reading this and have taken part in any of these traditions and it made you happy, I am sincerely and incredibly happy for you. I love watching others’ weddings, traditional and non-traditional. What matters most in the end is the love and the bond between the two getting married. Except for garters, they make me wince no matter what haha.
Now, I will mention, I will be partaking in some of these traditions. BUT with my own little twist!
When it comes to wearing white, I look TERRIBLE. With my skintone, I look better in cream. I have always wanted a fall wedding, so as of right now I am into a lacy cream dress with sleeves and semi backless (I plan to have a tattoo between my shoulder blades and would love to show it off). Other than doing cream, my twist includes lightly dying the train a light lavender. My mom is going to hate me haha.
Also, I do want my dad to walk me down the aisle. Although I despise where this tradition comes from, I find it to be a special moment. However, my twist on this includes having my mom on my other arm. My parents are a big part of my life and I want them both to walk with me. It’s going to take some convincing since my mom already refuses to invade this father-daughter moment.
Although a lot of women look beautiful in veils, I personally don’t find it necessary. I don’t need this expensive little piece of airy fabric to weigh down my hair for only an hour because I could definitely picture myself taking it off at the reception. This may not be original, but I do not care. I would rather wear a simple flower crown that I would DEFINITELY reuse over and over.
I am going to stop myself there because I will go on and on about weddings if I let myself. These are just some of my current wedding plans. Believe me, I have more. And like I said, I’m not even engaged yet. But if you want to hear more about my plans or tell me about yours, message me. I will gab and gab and gab.